Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Grief

My dad died last Tuesday after a short stay in a hospice facility. He's had heart issues for 30+ years after suffering a minor heart attack when he was in his 40s. His heart was assisted by a pacemaker and a defibrillator, and thanks to such technology, he was blessed to have many years of decent health. Only in then last two years or so did his heart finally start to give up..slowly, but surely.

We weren't especially close, but we had a pretty good relationship. (Only when he called me "Bozo" for having colored my hair an auburn red did I question whether or not he was a decent human being. Heh.) He was solid and reliable, and that's a lot more than most fathers out there. For that, I am grateful and quite aware that I was pretty lucky.

One of my favorite childhood memories of my dad was when he would chase me and my sibs around and then tickle us whenever the Vikings made a touchdown. It made me watch the games much more intently than I normally would and because of that, I know football rules far more than I want to know. (It was fun seeing my cousin post a similar memory about my dad on Facebook.)

I have a lot of good memories of him which will move him forward with me.

While deep in grief for my father, this time is shared with the tragedy in Japan. I am devastated by the extent of the damage from the tsunami. While viewing the videos of the tsunami rolling in and completely obliterating entire towns, there's a depth of fear that I haven't experienced previously. One video in particular takes the viewer from trickle to buildings collapsing in six minutes flat. Another video shows a wide scene with the tsunami flowing toward tiny blips on the screen which are people trying to outrun the rush of water. It all happens so fast...and so violently. Just devastating.

7 comments:

Joanne said...

I am very sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss and the pain you're going through now. Thank you for sharing your memories of your dad with us.

Kathy

Anonymous said...

My father died the day before the Oklahoma City bombing of the Murrow fed.bldg. I shared the same feeling of personal loss tempered by the tragedy unfolding on the world stage. I am sorry for your personal loss as well as the continuing tragedy in Japan. keep alive those tickle memories and the other fond memories of your dad. the love you shared is the best of what makes us human. Harry

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Cat. The hardest moments in my life were after the passing of the man that was for all intents and purposes my father. They say time heals all wounds... it's really not true. It just covers them over painfully with sand, waiting for the right wind to expose them again. But you'll get through it. And you'll always have him close in your heart, any time you need him. *Hugs* -Ginny

Cat said...

Thanks for all of your comments of sympathy. I sincerely appreciate it.

Mark said...

Cat, So sorry for your loss! You are the sweetest person I met at Vegas Bash 2009.

Mark Z.

Cat said...

Thanks, Mark.