Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Not a lot to say aside from my wish that you each have a peaceful and
prosperous new year!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Best Childhood Toy Ever

Seriously, isn't a big cardboard box THE best toy? This is me and my family (brother and cousin?) hiding out in a sweet refrigerator box. I have some decent memories from this escapade, but there's also some relatively faint feelings about getting booted by my sibs.

I also have some fond memories of the giant Christmas tree box. It was, and I'm guesstimating, 3.5 feet by 4 feet by 3feet. Every year it would come up from the basement and every year we played in it. One year, my brother John decorated it with crayon to have bus windows and even a bus driver on the front. It was a sweet ride! I don't know when it ended up getting reinforced with a wood frame, but you know my parents REALLy wanted to keep that box alive as long as they could. I vaguely remember getting booted out of that box, too, but I think each year the attempt at major play arrived when the box made it up the stairs.

Sure, some kids got to go hunt down a ~real~ tree, but the good old metal and plastic variety came with a BOX. A BOX!! Beat that, you real-tree snobs. :-)
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Thursday, November 06, 2008

A few new Crippy Crafts added to

I had a recent burst of creative energy and created these three Crippy Crafts. All are for sale and full viewing at

In other Etsy news, I've updated my jam selection to include the full 32 flavors from this year's canning sessions. LOTS of new flavors to try.

Apricot Butter
Apricot Jam
Apricot-Orange Conserve
Apricot-Pineapple Jam
Blueberry Jam
Blueberry Lime Jam
Brandied Peach Jam
Chocolate Raspberry Spread
Ginger-Saturn Peach Jam
Hot Pepper Jam
Peach Jalapeno Jam
Peach Butter
Peach Rum Jam w/ Brown Sugar
Peach Jam
Plum Conserve
Plum Jam
Plum Preserves
Raspberry Jam
Raspberry-Peach Jam
Raspberry-Cherry Jam
Raspberry-Jalapeno Jam
Raspberry-Lime Jam
Raspberry-Orange Jam
Raspberry-Pineapple Jam
Raspberry-Saturn Peach Jam
Saturn Peach Jam
Spiced Saturn Peach Jam
Strawberry Jam
Strawberry-Lime Jam
Strawberry-Raspberry Jam
Tomato Preserves (a little loose-set)
White Peach Jam
That's a LOTTTA jamming. A record setting year. Check out the jams here.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I did it.

You should too!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Why I'll Vote for Obama

While I consider myself to be a pretty leftist liberal, I consider myself an independent when it comes to political races. I rarely vote straight party lines, because what's important to me isn't necessarily important to the party as a whole. I tend to look at the individuals, individuals. I don't believe that just because a politician runs under a particular party banner that it makes them a good person or for that matter, valid as a representative in a governmental position.

In most presidential elections, I find myself really disliking both major party candidates. Clinton vs. Dole - Eh. Bush vs. Gore - Eww. Bush vs. Kerry - Double ewww. Typically, I ended up picking the "lesser of two evils. " It is not a healthy position to be in at the polls.

So, that's what makes this year's election especially refreshing to me. I find I *actually* like a candidate! I find Barack Obama to be intelligent, level- headed and positive. The dream of having an intelligent, well spoken president is potentially REAL. To have a president that can travel internationally and NOT make an ass of the term "American" is soooo refreshing. It's crazy, but this dream could be real!!

So many people focus on "issues", which are such a waste of time. For instance, do you really believe that either candidate will be able to lower your taxes after signing a 700 billion dollar financial debacle plan? No freakin' way. (At best, I want the candidates to come clean and tell me, "We won't raise or lower the tax rate." )

Do you believe that one man can actually save the economic downturn? They cannot. The US economy is a vaporous and emotional animal. One man or woman cannot change the outlook.

Also, in advertising the candidates like to say that they're "for" this or "against" that, but do they forget that they aren't running for "king?" Last I heard this was a country with a congress comprised of a House and Senate.

My randomly worded points come down to this -- don't vote based upon the "issues" rather vote based upon the personal traits.

McCain seems relatively intelligent, but he comes across nervous and somewhat insecure. He's quick to anger and seems a bit overly concerned about his war past. These are all traits that I really don't appreciate in a leader.

As stated above, Obama really does present himself well as intelligent and even. I feel this is what our country needs in a new leader -- someone for the world to respect and our kids to use as a role model.

This perception of Obama could be completely incorrect, but I trust that for over a year his persona hasn't cracked, so more than likely this is his true way of being.

Come Tuesday, in this overwhelmingly red state, I will be casting my vote for Barack Obama. I hope that you will do the same.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Because I can't say it any better....

Friday, October 24, 2008

You're Invited!

Here's this year's Halloween party invitation. Basically, just a skull. It's about 5" tall, two layers of paper. If you look'll find the message:
I am curious to find out how many people who got these didn't figure out the trick without tearing the poor head apart. :-)
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Friday, October 17, 2008

Best Barbie Ever

Barbie as Tippi Hedren in Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds".
(Well, I'm not sure about *ever*, but it's pretty cool.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I'd Buy That for a Dollar!

Overheard at the planning session for the new hair salon:

"Sure, let's call it "Dollar Cuts.""

"But someone might think we're only charging a dollar. We'd never make a profit if we did that. I think we should charge at least 10 to make it in the black."

"Well, no, while that's an even dollar amount, I was thinking...oh, what about 9.50!?"

"Maybe we should change the name of the salon?"


Monday, October 13, 2008

A Halloween Want

I've been surfing and bidding on eBay tonight, specifically hunting down some vintage Halloween decorations from my youth. While looking around for detailed information about Beistle decorations, I found something on the 'net that I can't find anywhere on ebay or off...and I WANT! It's a skeletal Beistle cat. Too fun! I like the good old days of genuinely creepy die cuts.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A Halloween Treat - Oreo Truffle Eyeballs.

I don't have any pictures of these goodies from last year's Halloween party, but trust me they were a hit. Tasty, creepy and sooo NOT good for you! The basic recipe is here. Take a peek and then come back...ok... That's right...a package of Oreos and cream cheese. Not really a health food.

To accomplish the eyeballs, make the truffles as directed, up to the point where you dip them in semi-sweet chocolate. Instead, dip them in white chocolate. Let them cool in the fridge. Then, apply the iris of the eye using colored white chocolate. In addition, apply a pupil to the center of the iris with dark chocolate. Oh, you're not done sirreeee, you need to apply some blood-shot eye veins using red colored white chocolate. When it sufficiently looks creepy and somewhat like eyeballs, chill in the fridge again. Then, enjoy!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Like Scary Stuff?

Give Hotel 626 ( a try. Props to Doritos for providing good, free, scary fun in a bad and scary economy! And I do mean genuinely scary and creepy! Oh, and the site is only available from 6pm to 6am, so if you're surfing from a day job, wait 'til you get home.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Little Ironic? Joy of Cooking Frozen Food

From the cookbook that has more detailed cooking techniques than you know you'll ever use comes frozen foods. Just heat, repeat. I can't be the only one that sees a little less "Joy" in this. They should have named the product line "Joy of the Microwave" or "Joy of the Reheat" or most simply "Joy of Not Cooking".

Thursday, August 28, 2008


I bought a new zoom lens for my Canon XTi. Just got it yesterday and I'm already loving it. Skittish wildlife is suddenly soooo much more accessible.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cattle Compass I do appreciate odd studies like these, but often question their conclusions. Rather than the animals having a magnetic need to face north or south, couldn't it be that they are simply trying to get the greater bodily sun coverage? I would think the widest part of the cow would get better sun if facing west/east throughout the entire day? Maybe they tend to follow fencelines? Who knows for sure. It's interesting nonetheless.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

If you need a reason NOT to watch the Olympics

This should do it: Apparently, in the athlete's dorms and in the press center, any...and I mean ANY... logo of a non-Olympic sponsor is to be covered with masking tape. Elevators, microphones, etc. Just ridiculous. It's just another sign that the Olympics are NOT about international loving, hugging, butt-slapping competition, but instead it's all about money, money, money. And you know, whereever big money goes, you can pretty much guarantee corruption. Yeah, don't bother watching it on television. The stank of corruption is always present with the Olympics, but it's even getting stankier as I get older and *cough* wiser.

Moon over San Francisco.

It's just chock full of Star Wars goodness.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Maybe the synthroid is kicking in!

I've posted this week's FLASHBACK! photo selection of the week only five days after the last issue. Maybe the new synthroid dose is actually working?! Eh, maybe. For this week's FLASHBACK!(older photos from my collections in celebration of the site's 10th anniversary at we're going back to 2002. Hold on to your seats while we trip back in time....

Friday, August 08, 2008

Happy 8-8-8!

It seemed 8's were everywhere you looked at the BBQ tonight. Crazy! Eights that is.
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Thursday, July 31, 2008

It won't be long....

...before these puppies are beautiful ruby red. Yay! I love ripe summer tomatoes.
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Monday, July 21, 2008

Reflections on Vegas

So many good things to report from Sin City. Typically what happens in Vegas stays there, but not this time.

I was able to meet some great new people from around the world and reconnect with a few fabulous people, too. I guess that is always the most important thing about the BBW bash circuit -- the people. Some go to dance, to swim, to buy clothing, to get laid, to drink, etc. I just go to connect on some level with others who attend.

This year I was touched by a couple of beautiful individuals who let me know what a difference this site has made in their lives. One, an FA and the other, a BBW. Two completely different perspectives on how, through the years, this site has changed their personal views and even changed their lives. I was, and am, very, very moved. Thank you for letting me know. I'm ever so grateful and I think I failed miserably in trying to convey this to them at the Bash. Thank you, thank you. You give me strength and purpose to continue.

To my friends with whom I reconnected, I'm so glad I had the opportunity to see you in the flesh again. No matter how much time I had with each of you, it really wasn't enough. It never is. I wish you could all move a bit closer so that we could get together more often. Seriously. Salt Lake City....consider it, please?!

The BBWNetwork bash hotel was always abuzz with bustling bbws. There's such a sweet feeling knowing you're not the only fat person in the pool, casino, restaurant, or hotel. So many other fat bodies to oogle and admire. I always appreciate that.

Gamble, Gamble! I won 400 on a penny machine at the Tuscany on the first night of gambling. One the third night, I won another 300 on the very same machine. Glinda, the good witch was very, very nice to me. I wish I had clicked my heels and left Vegas before I was able to gamble most of that away! Note to self -- do not win early in a Vegas trip. Win only on the last day. It makes gambling much more fun that way. Oh, and while I'm at the noting, please remember to wear sun screen when spending hours and hours chatting in the pool. Thank you.

I didn't spend my entire Vegas trip at the temporary fat mecca of the Tuscany. Only about half was spent there. After I left the bash, I headed to the Palace Station to stay -- comp nights -- can't beat the price! It's funny leaving the ~safety~ of the bash hotel for another hotel. Suddenly, I was one of the fattest around. I captured the eyes of non-admirers and it made me suddenly self-conscious. Luckily, there is this casino maintenance guy that is there every time we've been there. It's sooo obvious he digs me and the other fatter patrons. He's a gentle reminder that you never know where an FA may turn up (note to the single women!!)

Fat friendliness was all over Vegas this trip. We stopped at a rock shop on Flamingo, I believe. The attendant was completely flirtatious with his questioning. Funny, too, he would stop asking questions every time Ivan would come around me. Too fun!

Finally, just before we got in the car to head home, one last bathroom stop at the Palace Station. I was doing my thang and I got a couple of texts from the fam back in Salt Lake, so I was taking a little while to respond. Upon leaving the stall, I see this average size, blonde woman staring at me. I do my "kinda smile" and walk towards the sink. She looks at me and says, "I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but I just wanted to tell you..."

I thought, "Oh gawd, she's going to try to sell me on a weight loss program."

She continues, "I just wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful and that you should never believe it if anyone tells you otherwise. I know it seems odd, and probably not appropriate but I just had to tell you, just don't believe them."

Blow me over with a feather. I did not see this coming. She seemed really kind of nervous. The kind of nervous when you tell someone that you have always been in love with them, or the kind of nervous when you ask someone out. Now, it does strike me as odd that she was watching my stall while I was texting -- I'm sure she wondered what takes someone so long?! Aside from that, it was a fabulous encounter. I thanked her and told her it wasn't inappropriate. Who doesn't like to hear they're beautiful in someone's eyes?!

As I left the casino, I saw her again, with a young man about her age and I thanked her again. What a great way to end the trip to Vegas.

Monday, July 14, 2008


I'm off to vacate my body and brain by heading to the BBWnetwork Bash in Las Vegas. I'll be there for a few days and then spend the rest of the time vacating in other parts of Vegas. I expect that I will Twitter from time to time and maybe even blog, but probably not anything significant. I hope ya'll have a great time!

Attached to this post -- a beautiful desert bloom called Antelope Horn. Ivan captured this shot while down near Fillmore, Utah. Kinda purty, eh?
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Dial The Wrong Number?

Note to all wayward dialers: when reaching an answering machine of
unknown origin, do NOT leave your credit card info.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I'm a little bit purple

I'm not a huge purple afficianado. I mean as color it's quite nice and it's in the rainbow, so how bad can it be? Suffice it to say, I'm not a purple obsessee. What I do like is lavender. The lavender in the garden is starting to bloom and it made me think, "HUH...I'm downright taken with the scent." You see, much of my toiletries are scented with lavender and by default they're bespeckled with purple. My shampoo. My bath soap -- Ivory now has a lavender scented variety and ME LOVES IT. It's not quite as pure as the regular scent, but heck, I'll give up my purity (he!) for a fresh lavender scent. My body lotion. My deodorant. And, last but not least, my shavers. Yes, for some reason the brains-that-be at ye olde Bic's plastic wares plant thought it was important to scent women's shavers with lavender. Methinks the idea came from a woman with a hairy lip. While shaving your legs or your pits there's very little chance you'll catch a sweet whiff of the shaver's handle...but under your can smell it! How sweet it is!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Photos of the Week

Time seriously moves faster for, ummm...the "weekly" timing of the photos is more like 10-14 days. I guess that's more like a dog-week, right? Ahem. Anyway, this week's photo is posted, as well as several previous weeks, too.

Monday, June 09, 2008

It *should be* warmer.

We've had a cooler than normal Spring here in the upper part of Utah. It's been delightful and due to the abundance of rain, too, it's quite green. Typically the green of the grasslands are already starting to turn brown by now. Despite the beauty of the weather, I feel the need to complain about the weather forecasts. Time and time again, the weather forecasts will state, "we SHOULD BE 80 today." Accent mine on the "should be". There is no SHOULD BE in weather. There are averages and typicals, but there isn't a SHOULD BE. UGH. It chaps my hide! "The average is around 80," or "typically we are at 80" -- both have the same amount of words but mean so much different than "SHOULD BE". It's especially annoying when you realize that there are only 100 or so years recorded when figuring out the averages they use. It's a miniscule sample of years when you think of how old the Earth really is. Who's to say what SHOULD BE the temperature today? I seriously need a mocha...

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Worshipping False Idols

I rarely see "famous" people, but I'm having a good run with American Idol celebs. First there was the spotting of Simon Cowell in Vegas in April. Tonight, there was cute little David Archuleta who walked in with a group of his friends while we were waiting for a table at Cafe Med in Salt Lake City. We made eye contact! Woot! (I'm sure there are millions of pre-teen girls who are SOOO jealous of me now! heheh.)

It was good to see him hanging out with normal kids on a Friday night. I always wonder if after appearing on shows like that they end up getting dragged into a world full of "handlers" and agents. It was good, too, that while he has a sizeable share of fame going on right now, especially in Utah, he was able to eat, talk and giggle with his friends without much interruption. When he was interrupted by a mom and an adoring fan, he was VERY gracious and accomodating. This photo was from that moment. We were tempted, but didn't tell him of the message from a girl in Colorado that we got for him. :-)

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Updates on Etsy

I've added a few more Crippy Crafts to Etsy. Check 'em out:

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Maybe it's just me...

But at this stage of the political game, the "undecided" Democratic Superdelegates are just political superpussies. Pick your frickin' candidate already. Everyone else had to vote already...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

In unrelated news...

The herd in the backyard is growing. Run away!!
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Not to be outdone by Nevada

...well, actually, it has been outdone by Nevada (see this post from a few weeks ago). I'm starting to wonder if there's not some sort of issue with desert air and the need to display old shoes on trees? This beauty was found in Milford, Utah. In the middle of the small town, not in the middle of *nowhere* as the Nevada shoe tree was, so that probably accounts for its diminutive size.
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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Phone a friend

Truth be told, we screen our calls to our home phone. If you want to talk, leave a message. Last night, we get three calls in row without a message. We don't use caller ID, 'cuz you know, we'd be ignoring more calls. Because of this limitation and curiousity about the three calls and no message, Ivan dials *69. It's someone from Pueblo, Colorado. As soon as he puts the phone down, the thing rings again. Ok, fine, he's gotta answer now even though we've got no idea who would be calling from Pueblo.

He answers and a girl on the other line says, "Is David there?"

"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number. There's no one here by that name," replies Ivan.

"Oh, ok, thanks." says the disappointed girl.

Ivan hangs up and almost as soon as the phone hits the desk, the phone rings again. Ivan answers, "Hello."

"Hi, I forgot to ask. Do you know any Davids?"

"I know several. What's the last name?" queries Ivan.


"No, sorry, I don't know him," Ivan states to the crushed girl.

I'm really hoping for the girl's parents sake that they've got free long distance and/or free minutes on the cell phone. We're guessing she's trying every number in the Salt Lake Valley. Go, persistant girl, go!

For those of you who aren't aware, David Archuleta is the kid on American Idol that is from Murray, Utah. The local news was reporting that the kid was back in town after a break from the TV show, so you know, his groupies must be following as closely as they can.

Fat 'n' Flexible

While I like to believe I would look like this if in fact I were flexible enough to do it.

I know for a fact, this is about all I'm capable of. Both of these images are from this site: Eastern Serenity which has a whole line of fat "yoga fanatics" in bronze. Kinda cute, don'tcha think?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Trash to Treasure


Ivan took these photos of the famous "Nevada Shoe Tree" this past weekend. This shoe tree is in the middle of "nowhere Nevada". Seriously far from any city of significant size. I do think it's really thoughtful to offer up shoes to Mother Nature (or wandering people lost in the desert for that matter.) While part of me thinks "what a waste of a perfectly good tree...oh, and shoes, too", the rest of me is thankful for odd traditions in our American landscape.
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Sunday, April 27, 2008

PSA - NOLOSE Conference

I received a request to spread the news about the "NOLOSE '08" conference. For those interested or even curious, it's scheduled for September 26th-28th in Northampton, Massachusetts. NOLOSE invites all fat queer women, all fat trans and gender-variant folks and allies to participate. Go here for more information on the conference.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tampons ( For Fat Chicks Only!)

I wish, wish, wish someone had told me this when I was younger. Since I'm officially "old" now, I feel the need to tell you. And you alone. Well, you and a million other fat women.

Not all tampons work for all fat women. There, I said it.

When I was young, I tried tampons off and on in my late teens. I had very little luck with them staying in. If I had a heavy flow ~at all~, the thing would basically pop out before I really wanted it to. No bueno.

So, for years, I figured it was me. No way would I risk tampons. I would instead, wear the heavy pads and hope for no leaks. It was messy and well, I'm here to tell you, it doesn't need to be that way.

Not all tampons work for all fat women. The two varieties I tried were the ones my mom used and the ones that I tried in the bathrooms at school. They were relatively hard little puffs of cotton. I picture them as pellets that would shoot from my vagina. Not a good thing.

So, one day several years ago, I tried tampons again. The clouds opened and a ray of sunshine fell upon my head. It was a miracle. These tampons stayed...and did the whole "dam up the pipes and collect goodness along the way" job...and they were predictable. It was a beautiful thing! Tampons had become my friends. (For those who really need to know, they are Kotex Security brand).

For years, I've relied upon these plugs o' goodness for my sanity. Then, one day recently, while on vacation, I needed some while at a filling station. They didn't have my brand. So, with naive confidence that somehow my vagina had suddenly learned how to use the hard cotton plugs of old, I gave it a good old college try.

Bullets of bloody cotton were shot from my loins. (Artistic license!)

Not all tampons work for all fat women.

Try different brands until you find the one. You will be glad you did.

Las Vegas Show Tips for Fat Chicks

For those of us in the "fatter than average" category, oftentimes going to theatrical shows can be a problem. Live theaters are often fitted with the smallest seats on Earth. It's been years since I've been to a Broadway production in NYC, but man, I still remember the pain of the cheap, nosebleed TXTS seats we had for one performance. The seats were ultra narrow and the rows were just as narrow. I spent two + hours crammed into a seat with my thighs around the head of the person in front of me. No where to move. Aaack.

Anyway, for my recent birthday, I wanted to go with my friends to a show in Vegas that would be accomodating for the fatty-puffs in my crowd. The two that came up in my searches were the couch seating for Zumanity and the Wynn's VIP seating for La Reve. Zumanity was dark that week, so no luck there. La Reve showed no seats available for the nights we were there. Booo. I didn't have a lot of lead time, so I didn't find any other spots available. So, I pretty much trashed the idea.

To make a long story short, my sister ended up calling around while we were down there. She found out that La Reve had one VIP seat available and the rest of the party could sit in the row directly in front. BONUS! So, yeah, because it was my birthday celebration, I got the VIP ticket with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, my own sweet waitress, an LCD screen with underwater action...and...and...the most comfortable live theater seat I've ever experienced. ME! The fat chick! Comfortable at a live theater performance! Yeah, it was a good night! The champagne was good and the strawberries weren't half bad either.

The only drawback to the VIP seating -- the price. If you're going for a special occasion, the $200 isn't tooo...tooo...toooo bad. It's only ~$50 more than the regular seats, so if you're fat and fabulous (or even just fabulous) and looking to have a sweet water-filled theater experience in Vegas, check it out! Even the regular seats were larger than typical seats, not super comfortable for super-size, but not bad for average size people. Oh, and, I love the Wynn as a casino and restaurant stop, too -- extra comfy slot chairs and yummy food. A great all around experience in Vegas! Here's info on the show at the Wynn.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Arches National Park

If you're looking for something to see this summer and you happen to find yourself in southern Utah, I heartily recommend Arches National Park. My most recent visit was yesterday with my sister and my step-daughter. It showed me even more things than I had missed in my previous visits. Everytime I go, something new pops into view. There really is so much to see, and it has this "other world" feeling that you don't find just anywhere. And for $10/car for admission, you can't find much cheaper family entertainment.

I hope to make a camping trip of it this summer. Baking in a tent on some purty red rock sounds like fun at this point. Of course when it's 120 this summer, it may not sound like such a huge blast, but I'm sure that pretty red rock will keep me warm at night! Anyway, check it out when you get a chance. You won't be disappointed.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Curious Behavior

Seeing the photo to the left, I'm going to guess that most people believe that FLDS polygamy and potential child abuse is probably the "curious behavior" about which I'm writing, but no. Something suspiciously odd has hit me about this whole situation. Perhaps, it's just my exposure to some of the history of the LDS (not the FLDS) church here in Utah and it's wranglings with the US military back in the late 1800s...

What I find odd...and somewhat suspicious... behind the removal of the members of that compound:

1. They took busloads of women and children out in a First Baptist buses. I'm guessing that the US Govt has been planning this for some time, so why did they use a church bus to remove the individuals? There's a long history of distress between LDS and Baptists. Their views are very similar, yet just enough to cause some hatred between 'em. (I've known a couple of strict Baptists who hated the mormons, yet when they took the "Belief o' Matic" test, they came up scoring highest as Latter Day Saints aka Mormon.) So, while the FLDS is even more *out there* than straight-up LDS, it seems curious that the government would use church buses to move the women and children. Why involve the First Baptists at all if this was strictly a child protection/police matter?

2. While I certainly believe there is child abuse going on in the Texas compound, I wonder how much more prevalent it is than in the US population as a whole? Take 180 kids anywhere in the US and you'll probably find 18+ who have been sexually abused in this country. So, one girl makes a call from the Texas compound to get help and we invade and tear apart the entire compound? Granted, there should be zero children being abused, but it makes me think the government is on a crusade against the oddity that is the FLDS in a religious and "polygamist" sense than in the protection of the children. It's as if the unknown ways of their world MUST BE wrong. But, from what I know, polygamy isn't illegal unless one tries to gain multiple government sanctioned marriage licenses. Living on a compound with 50 women and 1 man isn't illegal. It is odd, but only because we come from a "1 to 1" based societal norm. Also, while it's creepy to hear of a 16 year old getting married to a fifty year old man, it's not illegal in the state of Texas. So, why are we there??

I fear that when we attack small fringe groups like this, we're doing it NOT for the good of the people involved, but only to get the "nut jobs" to conform to our belief system.

Eh, I could be wrong, but it just seems too curious to simply discount....
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Saturday, April 05, 2008

Photoshop Disasters - The Blog

Looking back at some of my digital manipulations, I know I've made some silly errors. Maybe that's what makes this blog, Photoshop Disasters, so dang funny! Be sure to check out Madonna's microcephalic head here. Good stuff! I should add, too, that this is a great site to send to women (or men!) struggling with body image issues. Especially those who think that cover models, celebrities, etc *really* look that way. Take this as an example.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I'm a Twit!

Not news to most of my friends and enemies for that matter. But, just to let you know, I'm Twittering on now. It's like text messaging...or just babbling about minute to minute thoughts. Socializing through randomness. Fun! Find me here: If you have a Twitter problem, too, please drop me a line and I will follow you...follow you whereever you go....

You can see my little Twits to the right if you are viewing this on my homepage. You can subscribe using RSS feeds or even your phone to get them as texts. Probably more "pearls" of my *ahem* wisdom than you need, but it's a fun technology and it's still just in its infancy, I believe. Get it while it's hot!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Feminine Daintiness (I wish this was an April Fool's Joke!)

First, my friend Andi, an awesome chicka who attended high school with me and has a fun, albeit quite private blog, sent me a note to let me know that my photo appears when searching Google for "listerine douche". Don't use the quotes when searching. You'll find me! Sure enough, there I am in one of my less flattering quasimodo photos. I'm supposedly asking a whole bunch of stupid questions of dubious veracity. Trust me, it's not me. Anyway, I came to wonder why Andi was searching on "listerine douche". Well, apparently someone sent her info on Lysol douches. Yup, LYSOL douches. So...then...well, of course I had to look up lysol douches. OMFG. Yup, apparently in the ultra-clean 50s, women's daintiness (read lack of coochy cleanliness) was the whole reason that marriages fail. It's there in black and white, so you know it must be true. Let me put it in modern terms because I don't think that "feminine daintiness" has the same...oh, I dunno...hippness that it once did.

Hubby giving you a cold shoulder? It's cuz your vajayjay ain't fresh, girlfriend. If you have to wonder if your lovebox stinks, sister, you know it does. And your husband *knows*. Ooooh boy, does he. What's the solution? Well, let me tell's a solution of LYSOL disinfectant. That's right. Put that up there and awwaaaay goes the unpleasant odors. After you do this, your husband will be visiting *your* bed once again.
Ok, the *your* bed may be a little too post-modern for today's woman. ;-) It's just soooo crazy to even think that 1. they thought it was a really good idea to use disinfectants in this way. I mean, I'm sure they really wiped things clean, but it had to do some damage along the way. 2. WTF. I know that advertising preys upon women's insecurities even today, but c'mon, did women believe this crap back then? I kind of think they probably did. I mean women today buy into the crap that they need to be slender to get and keep a man, a job, a friend, a life. It's all bullshit, but we buy it anyway. If there's a way we can achieve the dream of "perfection" as advertisers see it, we will plunk down our change to chase it. Agggh. Kids, it's pretty simple. There is NO SUCH THING AS BODY PERFECTION. Be the best person you can be and people will want to be with you...even if your coochy isn't *fresh* every minute, or if you have a fat bum. Or you have thin lips. Or you have flat hair. Or you have less-than white teeth, etc, etc, etc, etc.

For a little fun reading, I give you a selection of Lysol ads from the 50s:

Monday, March 31, 2008

Etsy is Fast!

I listed a crippy craft tree on Etsy last night at around midnight. By this morning, it sold! Yippee, skippy! My niece who sells some items on Etsy gave me a good idea on how to list the artwork -- list things over a long period. Say, for instance, one a day. It gives your shop greater exposure on the site due to the number of Etsy browsing tools that put items in listed order. It gets your shop ~out there~ for a greater number of shoppers. I think it makes sense. Maybe. Could be. :-)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Just Born

Isn't this one just too cute? This is the llama that was born today in our "back 40". We thought the mamma llama wasn't going to reproduce. She was just biding her time, apparently. Happy Birthday, wee one!
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Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I feel like a jack of all trades these days. First, I'm up late tonight moonlighting for a non-profit legal association. Just working on a few brochures for them in InDesign. I'm no Adobe InDesign expert, but I do find it fun to work in. It makes me think of all the fun brochure-sy things I could do if I ran my own company or organization. It's also another dandy skill to have if I lose my day job.

Secondly, I've been getting quite a few orders on Etsy. I've sold 31 jars so far. Yahooo! I haven't received my Crippy Crafts back from Minneapolis, yet, but I have high hopes that they will sell ~ok~ on there too. There's one Estsian who sells similar goods for ~$130/a pop. I don't have plans to charge nearly that much, so hopefully my wee papery art will move on there.

Finally, it's a beeeyatch to pay taxes on contracting gigs...especially if they're digitally based. I did a significant amount of graphic design work for a company in Oregon last year. I have VERY little I can "write-off" as business expenses. My software and internet connection is all paid for by my day job. My office isn't solely an office for work, so no go on that write-off. I ended up writing off some blank CDs, paper and mailing supplies. WooF'ingHoo. Here Governement, have some more money. I know we've got a war to pay for, so why can't I chip in a bit more? What? Bend over? Oh, ok...sure I can help....

Monday, March 17, 2008

Confession Time

I like to watch golf on TV on Sunday afternoons. Not just any golf, only PGA, and more specifically Tiger Woods and occasionally Phil Michelson. Ok, really just Tiger, but you know, Phil will do in a pinch.

I used to think that watching golf on TV was as exciting as watching paint dry, as the old cliche goes. Well, you know, I think I actually do appreciate paint drying now. There's so many subtle layers to it that I never realized previously. Ever see a fly land on wet paint? Yeah, it's pretty dang exciting.

OK, back to the confession at hand. So, yeah, golf. I'm not going to say it's as thrilling as a really good suspense movie, but if you actually watch golfers who are really, really good, it's pretty exciting seeing them miss a putt or as in today's game...winning the tournament by making a really good putt.

I'll watch and do other things, come back to the tele and see how the game's going. I don't typically watch the whole thing, but I do feel bad if I miss an exciting play or the last few holes of a tournament. I would have really been remiss if I missed today's tourny winning putt and Tiger's exuberant reaction. He's usually so very composed, don'tchaknow.

There, I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest. It really is embarassing especially since I used to say, "How could anyone stand to watch golf on TV??!? EWWW". So, yeah, now I know.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Happiness is...

Bright, Spring-y, new sheets and new fluffy pillows upon the bed. Love that.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Prostitution In the Media

New York Governor Spitzer has been connected to "high-priced", "high-dollar" prostitute. Does it make a difference if the prostitute is getting more money than the ones on the street? Every news story I've heard about this mentioned the "high-priced" bit. Is this supposed to make him look better or worse? Like, "Hey, he's an idiot for spending so much money...he could get it much cheaper on 5th Street." Or is it supposed to make me think, "Well, gosh, he cheated on his wife...but at least he got one of those classy high buck whores." It's one of those added titilating terms that news writers use. It doesn't add to the scandal's actual news worthiness, but it adds to the perception of the news worthiness. Spin news, spin!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Real quick like...Good and Bad Commerce

I sold five jars of jam on Etsy! Apparently Etsy does work for such things. Yahoo! That was the good news. The bad news... none of my crippy crafts sold at the art show in Minneapolis. Boo. Onto Etsy they go when they come back home. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! --like the jams are here. like.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Utah is special...

I know Utah is full of conservatives...Mormon and not. Most of the time it really doesn't make any difference in how I live my own life. A few things, however, have arisen that make it more apparent that I live in an ultra-controlling conservatively off center locale. The other day, listening to the radio, the song, "Rockstar" by Nickelback came on. Now, while it may be taken seriously by some people, I find the song pretty funny and it's got an awesome grooooove to it. I especially like the little devil voice asking questions of the lead singer. At one point in the song, (here's the lyrics for those of you unfamiliar) he says that he's going to have a drug dealer on speed dial. The bleeped out "drug dealer!" OH, that's right, the rest of the seven deadly sins explicitly detailed in this song was ok...but yeah, that "drug dealer" part...wipe that out. It's far toooo explicit. "Seriously, boys and girls, when you want to be a rock star...go for everything but the drugs. Real rockstars don't do drugs." Bwwwwaaahahah.

The problem with censorship like this is that hiding the elephant of drug addiction in the room won't keep kids from trying them. Capice? Hiding it and keeping it baaaad makes it seem really, really cool for those kids wanting to be anything but their conservative parents are pretending not to do.

As if censoring music isn't bad enough, the State passed some new alcohol control laws. No longer will the grocery stores carry the already-extra-diluted-and-made-special-for-Utah alcapops (Mikes Hard Lemonade and the like). They can still carry anything that tastes bad -- like the extra diluted beers. I personally don't like the taste of alcohol and have rarely had anything alcoholic to drink, but when I did, I preferred a fruity cover up to avoid the flavor. Now, if on the off-chance I wanted something like that to drink, I would have to hunt down the state run liquor stores which are few and far between...and they're so freakin' hard to find. They're casually marked, dark dingy cinderblock buildings in bad neighborhoods (which really aren't that bad...just bad as far as Salt Lake goes.) So, yeah, the once a year trip to the house-o-liquor may get cancelled again this year.

In addition to the alcapop change, they're delving into the bars aka "private clubs for members" here in Utah to try to make the laws appear more normal to visitors. Ummm...I think they messed up. The new law affects shots...if you're drinking a margarita for instance, you cannot order an additional 1 ounce shot of tequila, but you can order a 1 ounce shot of vodka. See, if it's in your drink already, we don't want you to order an additional ounce to spice it up. No've gotta drink something different, dangit. OH and don't even think of ordering a double shot...still illegal. Two ounces? Are you serious?! Far too much in Utah. So, if you're looking to get drunk in Utah, please remember that variety is the spice of life -- order a mixed drink and an extra shot of liquor not already contained in the mix. Oh, remember, though, that you can't have more than 2.5 ounces of alcohol in front of you at any given time (down from 2.75 oz), so drink up quickly and get on with your life.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Stinkin' Cute!

I found this limited edition print on Etsy tonight. It's so very evocative of the first time a little fat girl goes out to the pool with a swimsuit. At least that's how I read it 'cuz I was that fat girl. I think it could tell so many stories. Maybe she just got caught doing something wrong? In any event, so very, very sweet and so cute. You can find this print here: . The talented artist's blog is here:

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


When I see a photo of a pilgrimage or a large demonstration, I often wonder how many people in the photo are thinking:
  • How the hell will I get out of here?
  • You know I'm here just 'cuz my dad wants me to be...
  • If I fall...I am so dead, dude.
  • Shoot...Where did I park??
  • Maybe I don't feel like everyone else in the crowd, but how do I dare say something?
  • I could soooo be home playing Guitar Hero right now.
  • Before this moment, I had no idea how claustrophobia felt.
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